As I started to write this post, and fill in the title, it sounded familiar to me. So I entered “new normal” into the search term field on my own blog, and this post came up…from November of 2013. Back then I was still living in Connecticut, on the hunt for a new job but with 90+ Cellars and Boston nowhere in sight. Reading the post now is funny. In it I feel guilty for some pretty silly things, and reassure myself by basking in habits that I now no longer have. It’s really kind of sad to read, but I know it was all part of the recovery process.
I had Columbus Day off yesterday, so Jeff and I went over to Night Shift Brewery, which encourages bringing your own food. So we brought Wendy’s. I went to a half hour bootcamp that morning, but didn’t think twice about the fact that I “only” worked out for half an hour and was eating fast food. I ordered what I wanted. I stopped when I was full (which happened to be when all my food was gone). There was no mental agonizing over that fact. There was no carb counting. There was just me enjoying a gorgeous fall day off with my boyfriend. Though critical thoughts about my body and eating/workout habits are still present, they are so much easier now to push out of my head, and move past. This is my current new normal.
I still make casseroles for dinner. In fact, I made turkey meatball casserole last night. But I also make tater tot refried bean dip for dinner. And meals based off of rice, a once-dreaded carb. And then I wake up, and I eat breakfast. I move on, because there isn’t really anything to move past in the first place.
I really don’t like working out in the morning. So unless my friend Jeannie wants to go on a two mile run-and-chat around our neighborhood at 6:30AM (which I did happen to do today, and actually enjoyed), I don’t. Even if that means working out less days per week. I’m incredibly over waking myself up and feeling miserable. I’d rather get more sleep, and therefore feel better the rest of the day. When I went to Vegas in August, I worked out exactly once. I’m over working out on vacation. My average days per week spent exercising are now about four or five. And that still bothers me sometimes, for sure. Every now and then I have to ask Jeff or my mom to remind me that it’s ok not to sign up for a class if I’m hungover, tired, busy, or am just feeling lazy. But more often than not, I can accept the decision and get over it quickly. I am proud of the fact that I no longer feel the need to work out every single day, or make every workout an hour-long extreme endeavor.
I also have finally embraced jeans, because I found a pair that ACTUALLY fits me. Instead of trying to squeeze into pairs that are too small, obsessing over the number on the tag and hating myself, I got a pair at H&M (it helps that they are European-sized, AKA I have NO clue what size they are) that feel great, always. Even after I eat a big meal. I no longer panic when all my leggings are dirty – and we are getting into that time of year. It turns out, jeans can make for some pretty cute outfits.
So that’s the NEW new normal. I really like it. And it hasn’t caused me to gain a zillion pounds, like a voice used to constantly tell me it would. I don’t miss that voice at all.
Have you ever realized you have a “new normal”? What is your “normal”? Are you happy with it?